As awesome as taking your girl to White Castle for Valentine’s Day might sound, if she’s the kinky type, chances are she’d rather spend her evening sucking down something other than sliders and milkshakes.
You know her better than anyone, you know what she likes and you know that a fast food dinner isn’t the kind of punishment she’s hoping for tonight. But there’s one problem, Valentine’s Day is today and you haven’t planned anything. It’s okay, don’t panic, really, we got you covered. As long as you follow our simple guide below, you’ll be fine.
Step 1: The Date
You can never go wrong with dinner and a movie, especially when the Fifty Shade of Grey sequel Fifty Shades Darker just opened. Coincidence? I think not. Now if you’re already thinking of other movies to take her to, you’re not paying attention. In fact, I’ll wait here while you go buy your tickets. Now that that’s taken care of, if you’re really looking to spice things up, try picking up a Lovense LUSH. If you’re new to the incredible world of remote controlled Bluetooth vibrators, we suggest trying it at the movies first, it’s dark and loud, so you’re less likely to get noticed when she starts to feel the vibes (pun indented). You’re also probably not the only ones in the theater who’s got one. But if you’re really feeling adventurous, have her wear it during dinner. There’s nothing sexier than watching her squirm in public as she tries to supress the feelings of pleasure you’re sending her remotely from your smartphone. “Go ahead honey, have an orgasm right here in the restaurant, in front of all these strangers…” Hot, right?
Step 2: The Afterparty
Okay so the credits are rolling and she’s all riled up from the movie you just watched, not to mention the remote stimulation you’ve been giving her all night long. You’ve got her right where you want her, but those vanilla bondage scenes weren’t enough, so now it’s up to you to fulfill her deepest and darkest fantasies at home.
Disclaimer: Before engaging in any BDSM scenarios with your partner, be sure to have a serious chat about what she’s comfortable doing or have done to her and what she not. You’ll also want to choose a safe word that will stop any activity if it becomes to much for her. Here at Wasteland we use the word “RED”, a standard industry safe word.
Activity 1: Against the Ropes
If you’re not a shibari expert, but can tie a simple knot, we suggest trying a little rope play. You can start with your partner on her back, face up so she can see the action (blindfolded for more adventurous couples). Start by tying her hands either together above her head, or apart and to her sides, securing the rope to the bed wherever possible. Then try tying her feet apart, leaving her spread wide open on the bed, completely vulnerable. Now the fun begins.
Note, most adult novelty boutiques carry bondage rope as well as all the accessories you will need for the evening.
Pro Tip: Substitute rope for handcuffs and leg shackles. When restraining your partner, if you can slip your index finger in between her wrist and the cuffs, it’s tight enough that she won’t be able to get out, but not so tight that it will hurt her.
Activity 2: Can you Candle It?
Now that she is all tied up and in the perfect position to receive her discipline, try incorporating some pain play, light spanking, candle wax, mix in a little hair pulling; this might also be a good opportunity to tell her some of the things she does that really tick you off and punish her for it.
Pro tip: If you plan on trying the candle wax, make sure you buy candles meant for wax play, or you might be spending Valentine’s Day in the ER. Check out these low temperature candles from Amazon.
Activity 3: Guilty Pleasure
So, you finally got to punish her for not doing the dishes when it was her turn and for making you walk the dog at 5am in the freezing cold while she sleeps in a warm bed. Now it’s time to reward her for all the awesome stuff she DOES do for you, because you know she deserves it and you also know that if you want her to keep doing those things, you better make her happy.
Start teasing her with your favorite dildo or vibrator. Make her lick it and suck on it to get it wet. Run it up and down her body, slowly making your way to her pussy, until she can’t take it anymore and is begging you to put it in.
Pro Tip: Don’t put it in yet. Play with her clit a bit. Take it away and force her to make it wet again. Only when you think divorce is imminent should you give in and let her have it. She’s all yours and you’re in control. Now you can go to town on her.
Activity 4: Embrace Your Inner Pornographer
Hiding inside you and your partner, are a couple of naughty porn directors, you just don’t know it yet. Consider setting up a camera to capture all the fun of the evening for later viewing. If it’s your inner exhibitionist who’s begging to be released, you can always broadcast the session live on webcam for the world to see.
If all of the above still seems a bit too daring, you can always curl up on the couch, order some pizza and watch your favorite Wasteland scenes, working up the courage to try it next year.