How Kinky Is Too Kinky? Part 2

How Kinky Is Too Kinky? Part 2

by Violet Midnight What do you do if your partner wants to indulge a secret fantasy or fetish that you are not comfortable with? We have already discussed potential physical concerns (such as pain, discomfort or health risks) in Part One. But what if your partner wants you to engage in sexual activities that your are uncomfortable with on an emotional level? Maybe the activity disgusts you, or makes you afraid for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on. Maybe you feel embarrassed by it, or think your friends would disapprove or think badly of you if they knew ...

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My Fantasies Scare Me! What if I get too into SM?

My Fantasies Scare Me! What if I get too into SM?

by R. Jellinghaus Sometimes people who are attracted by some aspects of SM worry that they will immediately go from enjoying spanking and light bondage to fisting and golden showers. Nothing could be further from the truth. SM is a blanket term for a huge variety of alternative ways to make love. This FAQ list has outlined some of the possibilities. No one I know enjoys everything on this list; everyone has their own preferences and levels of tolerance. Some like bondage but dislike pain; some like latex but dislike leather; some enjoy piercing but not whipping; some like tickling ...

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BDSM Safety First!

BDSM Safety First!

by H. Meijer Here are some useful tips for physical safety. These have much more to do with your attitude toward your partner(s) and toward erotic power exchange in general. Read some good books The more you read about erotic power exchange, the more you’ll understand about it and the safer you’ll be able to play. It’s also very useful if you study some of the basic anatomy of the human body. Know about safety If you know about safety you can be a better judge of the situation. This is even more important for bottoms and submissives, especially if ...

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Bondage Basics, Part 1

Bondage Basics, Part 1

by R. Jellinghaus Why is bondage fun? Lots of reasons. For many people, the knowledge that they are helpless, that someone else can do things with their body and they can’t prevent them, is a powerful turn-on. “I’m going to make you come and there’s nothing you can do about it.” It’s a very strong statement of trust to let someone bind you helplessly, or even non-helplessly. How erotic, to feel yourself spread open, wanton and wet, and to see your lover kneeling between your legs, ready to use you for their pleasure — or to pleasure you unendurably….

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Bondage Basics, Part 2

Bondage Basics, Part 2

by R. Jellinghaus Be very careful about tying anything around the neck; anything that puts any pressure AT ALL on the front of the neck can lead to unconsciousness quickly, as the carotid arteries go right to the brain. Likewise be careful with gags or things tied in the mouth; as well as restricting breathing, they can trigger a gag reflex, which could be really nasty if the bottom can’t get the gag out. See another question on safewords for use while gagged. Also, be aware that if someone is standing for any length of time in any sort of ...

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Portrait of the Marquis de Sade by Charles-Amédée-Philippe van Loo (c. 1761)

Portrait of the Marquis de Sade by Charles-Amédée-Philippe van Loo (c. 1761)

by Violet Midnight Most people have a vague idea that sado-masochism (or as it is sometimes written, sadomasochism or sado/masochism) is named for two people; one of them into inflicting pain (sadism) and one of them into having pain inflicted (masochism). These two men are The Marquis de Sade, born in 1740 and author of many erotic writings including, most famously, Justine, about a man who enjoys inflicting pain upon his mistress. Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, born in 1880, also wrote erotic stories, the most famous of which was called Venus in Furs in which he describes being whipped by a ...

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Op-Ed: Some Thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Consumerism”

Op-Ed: Some Thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Consumerism”

by Ava Mir-Ausziehen While I have yet to read 50 Shades of Grey myself, I have read a lot of erotic fiction, often of the BDSM genre. The amount of press surrounding this book is curious. It seems that once a work of sensual intrigue is picked up by middle-aged women, suddenly it’s a buzz. In reading reviews of the book, I saw predictions of everything from a post-hippie neo-sexual revolution to the overturning of all feminist progress as we know it. Few erotic products with a predominately male following are talked about with such a tone of revolutionary potential ...

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BDSM Movie – It’s a Good Day for a Hard Flogging

BDSM Movie – It’s a Good Day for a Hard Flogging

Mistresses Irony is in the mood to play with her perfect and perpetually obedient submissive. Ava is not new to this and loves the attention adorned upon her by her Mistress, especially if flogging and electro is involved. She loves the sensations, the filling up of her pussy, the teasing….just the though of it makes her ache for release and release she does.

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