by H. Meijer
Here are some useful tips for physical safety. These have much more to do with your attitude toward your partner(s) and toward erotic power exchange in general.
Read some good books
The more you read about erotic power exchange, the more you’ll understand about it and the safer you’ll be able to play. It’s also very useful if you study some of the basic anatomy of the human body.
Know about safety
If you know about safety you can be a better judge of the situation. This is even more important for bottoms and submissives, especially if you’re playing with different partners or if you have incidental contacts. If you understand about safety you’ll be better able to determine if you can trust your new or incidental partner.
Talk about safety
If either one of you is not happy with a situation, tell each other about it. If you’re uncomfortable, you won’t have half the fun you could have when you don’t have to be concerned about safety. Since trust is an important factor in erotic power exchange, feeling safe is certainly one of the aspects here. Unsafe situations usually occur, not because people want to play unsafe, but because someone doesn’t know a situation is unsafe with his or her partner or doesn’t recognize it as unsafe.
Build up your scene
Take your time when you play and don’t try to do everything at one time. Experiment and explore. Take it one step at the time. It’s easy to add, but you can never take away the effect of too much at the same time. This is especially important for pain impulses. Also remember that you’re building brick upon brick. Being tied up may be the first brick. A nipple clamp might be next. But now these two things will influence each other. A blindfold or a gag will intensify sensations and effects enormously. A simple pat on the back may be harmless in everyday life, when blindfolded and tied up it may feel like an enormous blow.
Hold back and concentrate
Don’t bring too many elements into a game at the same time. Hold back, concentrate on what you’re doing and only add an element when it’s functional and your partner is ready for it. Exploring the effects and possibilities of just one element at a time can be very creative and tremendously exciting for both of you.
A scene may lead to fierce and unexpected emotions, and sudden, sometimes almost spasmodic, movements. Orgasms can be much more intense. Anger, frustration, crying, yelling – it’s all part of the game. Erotic power exchange is all about emotions. And the dominant partner can, should and will have emotional releases too.
Physically supporting your partner is important. (We’ll talk about emotional support later on). If the body is supported sufficiently this allows for sudden, unexpected movements and makes your partner feel comfortable with the situation.
Things NOT to do
Never tie ropes around the neck. Use leather or steel collars
that leave sufficient room (two fingers) to breath.
Never leave someone tied up and alone in the house.
Never use pieces of cloth or cotton stuffed in the mouth
for a gag (they can kill!).
Never use wire or coat hangers in an SM-game
(for bondage or whipping).
Never use drugs or chemical substances.
Never do anything that you don’t know about.
Always remember! SAFETY FIRST! and please use common sense.