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Is It Non-consensual To Wake Up Your Partner With Oral Sex?

Is It Non-consensual To Wake Up Your Partner With Oral Sex?

When it comes to sex, pretty much anything goes if two people talk about it openly and honestly. The issue of consent is essential if they don’t know each other well or if they’re contemplating introducing something new into the bedroom. Today, we touch on popular male fantasy, being woken up by oral sex, and whether consent comes into play in any way. In most cases, the answer is pretty straightforward, and it doesn’t depend on the people or the situation. No, it’s not non-consensual to wake up your partner with oral sex. Further, singles who like to meet people online and have casual sexual relationships will tell you that the butterflies make their imagination run wild and as a result they go down on their partners when least expected, making the experience mind-blowing. Do long-term couples differ in this regard?

#1: The Actual Meaning of Consent

The definition of consent has to include all situations where express has been given and not withdrawn at the very least. When it comes to sex, falling asleep doesn’t mean withdrawing consent to something that is enjoyed when awake. Unless a person explicitly says they don’t want to be woken up with oral sex, there is nothing non-consensual about it.

Think of it this way, if you fall asleep in a cab, and the driver still takes you to the destination, was the second part of your trip non-consensual? Of course not. The issue arises when one person is just into it for whatever reason, such as when a girl doesn’t appreciate the element of surprise.  

#2: Men and Women Shockingly Disagree

To most men, waking up to a blow job is a fantasy found pretty high on their bucket list, and as a result, it’s unlikely they would want to be asked for consent because that would totally spoil the fantasy.

Women, on the other hand, are much more particular when it comes to all things sex, and appreciate a notice period to get ready for whatever awaits. At the same time, women don’t mind going down on their partners like that, which bodes well for the men insofar as they don’t have to reciprocate in the same manner and still get their way.

#3: Background Story Doesn’t Matter

For two consenting adults having casual sex, waking up to a blow job is awesome, and definitely should not be spoiled by twisting their thinking in knots over consent.

For partners who are passed their honeymoon stage but aren’t quite long-term yet, being woken up with a blow job usually doesn’t constitute an issue worthy of consent talk either. If they feel like it, they’ll do it, and the guy sure won’t mind.

In long-term relationships, sexual experimentation tends to take a back seat to a host of other things going on, and playing out a fantasy doesn’t happen that often, but when it does a mere blow job doesn’t require consent. It’s pretty much implied even when the person receiving it is unconscious at the beginning.


About Simon Blackthorne

Simon Blackthorne
Simon Blackthorne is a Dungeonmaster at Wasteland.com. With over 30 years experience as a MaleDom, he brings a wealth of experience, knowledge and wit to the BDSM scene. Simon was one of original directors and contributors to Wasteland starting in 1995 and is a respected leader in the New England BDSM community. You can see Simon's BDSM Video Demonstrations and Tutorials at Wasteland.com
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